IT WAS THE KRAUTS

There is an explanation for the present Christmas tree and its present use in the Australian Christmas.

In Europe also, about 1,200 years ago, an English missionary named Winfrid (Saint Boniface) was traveling in northern Germany. To the east of Dusseldorf, in Geismar forest, he came across a group of heathens who were preparing to sacrifice Prince Asulf at an oak tree, a symbol of the god Thor.

Winfrid stopped the sacrifice, cut down the oak and in its place a young fir tree appeared. Winfrid said this fir should be revered as the Tree of Life a symbol of Christ. In the later Middle Ages, fir trees were used in church mystery plays to represent the Tree of Life. But other than that, cutting down trees and bringing them inside as decoration was not seen in Christian homes until relatively recently. The first record of the Christmas tree was in 1605 at Strasburg, and in 1840 introduced by Princess Helena of Mecklenburg into France and by the Prince Consort to England. How did this become a custom of modern man?

Once upon a time thee was a bit of biffo going on between two cousins, the King of England and the Kaiser of Germany of Germany. Instead of just duking it out in the lounge room of one of their palaces they decided to let sixty million other people do away with themselves first and called it a Great War. To tell the truth there was nothing great about it at all, but I digress as usual.

Such trees were decorated with one or more apples, representing the forbidden fruit which we are also forbidden from eating. Today we decorate our trees with similar shiny red balls made of thin glass or plastic and many different shapes and sizes as well, and still not allowed to be eaten.

The Christmas tree therefore refers to Bibble metaphors teaching us to not succumb to sin. Nothing Pagan about it at all. To be on the safe side however, the tree should not be brought into the home and decorated before Christmas Eve, otherwise bad luck will befall the home and a lot of money wouldn't be made by profiteers. It is these superstitions are more likely believed if we include here and there old fashioned words like 'befall'. The Christmas Tree must be taken down and removed from the house before the Bells of Midnight on New Years Eve, otherwise you will have to wait until the twelfth night and burn it to chase away any mischievous spirits. Maybe it might be better not to have a tree at all so you won't have to chase those spirits away but you can just drink them with the money you saved.

Christmas is enjoyed by people all over the world regardless of race, gender or religious beliefs and there's no need for you to be upset over the ignorance of others. Jesus was born in the humblest of settings; indeed his whole life showed us the importance of humility. He taught us not to be judgmental. He taught us how to love.

So enjoy Christmas, wherever you are, whoever you are and whatever your beliefs.

DOES TRAVEL REALLY BROADEN THE MIND?

Was this a true statement or just another whimsical philosophical stupidity as 'How long is a piece of string?'

Maybe in the days of the Grand Tour a few centuries ago when cultures even a few hundred miles away were so radically different to yours travel did broaden the mind, but today when Western civilisation begins breeding a boring sameness should we spend money on traveling anywhere.

Up, up and away on a big monoplane, thousands of dollars just for a seat to sit on. The hassle of security at both ends, I had to remove my pants belt at Avalon and I'm still holding my bag in one hand and my trousers up with the other.

So you land in another country, as strange as New Zealand or as dangerous as Puckapunyal and even before you get out of the airport you are assailed by the sights of Mc. Donalds, KFC and Subway. Why?

Why do we need to eat a Big Mac in Abu Dhabi, a deep fried chicken leg steeped in a host of secret herbs and spices in Bangladesh? For that matter does a Zimbabwean Sandwich Artist decorate your roll in Subway any different to those in Ballarat? I don't think so.

Then of course there is the accommodation. An Acor Hotel in Madrid is run the same, looks the same, is serviced the same and has the same beds and coffee as your Acor room in Nambour. The staff are just as friendly and inefficient and all have the same inability to speak English.

Today in a world of electronic wizardry including big screen 3D television (which is still trying to take off) why could we not just save thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours of differing opinion and the constant whine of 'whatever' in our ears can we not just stay where we are, or maybe travel as far as Bendigo, and make believe we are really somewhere both exotic and erotic of which Bendigo is certainly not, with the exception of the Chinese Temple.

'Hell Yes' I scream and by doing so save at least $50 in tips, whether that be in Drachma or in Dong.

So here we go on our latest overseas adventure. Pack the car with all the non-essentials of travel and drive off into the sunrise, a smile on our faces and an unpaid booking for 'Treasure Island' in the glove box. We are off to broaden our mind, experience the exhilaration of the wind in our hair, let the kids imagine they are flying with the Red Baron for five silent minutes and then Eye Spy for two bickering hours. Who f........ cares if Yew Tree doesn't start with an E.

No lectures about seat belts or placing our table in an upright position. Not having to watch someone mime how to blow a whistle, and no mention of how you don't blow up your floaties until you land in the water outside the aircraft. Why this is needed on a flight between Griffith and Dubbo is really open to debate.

On arrival at Shangri-Low because Treasure Island went bust due to them failing to install 3D television, one alights to the merry greeting of 'G'Day' instead of a polite shrug to indicate they can't understand a word you say.

Find the remote for the Travel Simulator, a big screen 3D TV outside the balcony, which instantly throws up the sights and sounds but not the smells of Calcutta and start unpacking the bags. The kids get onto 'Wigglespace' on the internet which will keep them amused for the week and the parents retreat to the bar to get pissed just like at home.

No hassles in crowded shops where pushing and shoving has been elevated to a high art, no stupid mime act to ask someone where the bus stop is, and the same room service that brings the same Kiddy Meal as they had a week ago at home. What makes the trip all the more exciting is the room service person who gives a polite shrug to indicate they didn't understand a word you said.

Oh! Linton ..... you're missing nothing except the Squatting Ewe Car Wash..

For those who live in L.I.S.A (Less Intelligent States of America)

DOB DOB DOB IS JUST FOR CUB SCOUTS

The more that I consult the world wide webby thing, the national papers, metropolitan papers, local rags and the villages voice the more I have come to accept that I have developed into a cranky cantankerous old fart that is ready to rebel against anything I perceive real or imagined is impinging on my personal property and personal space and personal finances.

Finance Watch, Petrol Watch, Shopping Watch, Neighborhood Watch and Whistle-blowing, Carbon Watch, Surf Watch, Community Watch and Wrist Watch. How many do we need? Is our community so dysfunctional that someone has to watch out for everything and everybody on our behalf?

Every aspect of our life is being governed and, it appears to me, by lesbian bike riding vegan social workers who, because they can’t get a good root themselves have to try and f.... up our lives. Yes I’m angry. I’ve had the council tell me I’m a Fire Hazard, my shares in Tabcorp confiscated because I didn’t have enough of them and now a Smart power meter which I know is designed to make sure I pay more for every watt I use. The council wants $5,000 Deposit to ensure I finish the house I’m living in. My backside is sore because the Government and the Banks are screwing me. The local council wants my dog to be registered, carry a plate around his neck and strapped into the car like ’Hannibal Lecter’, and if I don’t put my wheelie bin with the handle facing south and 33cm from the kerb they won’t pick it up. My trees are either too high, too low, too close to power lines or too close to my letterbox and, too leafy.

Regulators and their toady employees govern every aspect of our apparently tawdry lives. We are moving closer towards a police state and I’m not looking forward to the compulsory marching spectacular to entertain Kim Il Mayor down at our Replica Railway Station. It is time that the much vaunted Rights and Responsibilities that the Government espouses to be put back on to the individuals in society else we will end up with as watered down version of North Korea and have to bow low every time someone on a bicycle passes by.

To top it off all this expenditure by some bureaucrats we have other bureaucrats costing us money to ensure we don’t waste any money. To hell with it is the general opinion. It’s not our money.

I doubt very much if we can ever rid ourselves of under-worked and wasteful government employees. Would you like to see your job go without a fight? Maybe this is why the bureaucracy has lasted 50 millennia. Even cavemen had to pay someone a few pebbles to spit paint on the cave wall as a record of their activities.

Now they want us to DOB to whistle-blow when we see something going wrong. All I can say is keep your mouth shut. All of the whistle-blowers I have ever read about end up on the dole, despise by the government and despised by employers. Little wonder that immoral people get away with so much. The government encourages whistle-blowers (or so they say) and then sets out to destroy their reputation, their employment opportunities and their family.

Nobody likes a dobber so the crooks in our society, and I’m talking about the aristocracy not the criminal class, get away with the unethical and corrupt behaviors. We have a topsy-turvy society that will frown upon a misogynist and wife-beater but go and cheer and barrack for them on the sporting field.

We idolised Alan Bond while he stole our money, believe that Ned Kelly was one of the countries greatest citizens (even while he shot down and killed policemen) and Linton even gave succor to Captain Moonlight because he left ‘our’ Gold deliveries alone.

We don’t like gangs but we won’t do anything, as citizens, about it we don’t like drugs but we almost condone their use. Hey! Look on the bright-side one day we might wake up from this nightmare.

* Note:- Yes. Yes. Scout people. We know DOB means ‘Do Our Best’ not ‘Dirty Old Bugger’ as has been ascribed to the writer.

DISCRIMINATION DISGUISED

Am I being a bit off kilter when I believe that we are actually introducing laws that are discriminatory but yet so subtle we don't notice or don't care. In the past year or so there have been two laws, whilst on the surface we believe are good for us, but may also be state sponsored, contrary the constitution or unfair on a particular sector of our society..

Clearly we musty have a separation of Church and State, even though we have state funded religious instruction in our schools, but my point is that we recently passed a law that prohibited children from attending pre-school and child-care without evidence of being immunised against a range of potentially lethal childhood diseases.

Hallelujah, make people safeguard their children's health, I'm all for it.

However I would argue a very small point that there are some religions fanatical enough to believe that God will cure all ills and that there is never a need for medical intervention. No needles, no blood transfusions, no childbirth assistance, nothing that was not ordained by that bearded white mythical being who lives in the sky.

Is this not contrary to our laws that clearly state that there shall be no discrimination on religious grounds?

I don't agree with these parents but are we not all responsible for our own lives and have a free will given to us by that same bearded guy who lives in the sky.

Then comes the second whinge that I have and believe to be discriminatory. Although I have still to complete the paperwork I am eligible as a First Home Buyer for the Grant so generously provided from other taxpayers. When I was looking into this free money I took note that my contracts were signed prior to the changes (to come into effect after a certain December 31) being made to the Act and thus I was still eligible for the cash. I'm a greedy can't.

But the changes to the Act meant that, to satisfy the thirst of unscrupulous builders and developers whose pockets are filled with the hands of politicians, would only apply to 'New Builds' and not homes already erected.

What do we make of this and why do I call it discriminatory.

It is hard enough for young people to get a home these days, that was the purpose of the grant, but this change meant that young people, couples, even families who wanted to buy an already existing house were no longer eligible. That, my friends, is state sponsored discrimination.

Our governors talk glibbly about young people needing a hand up, having bigger families and creating stronger communities. Was it not 'the' Peter Costello who said “one for the family and one for the country”? Was it not that same Peter Costello that lauded the scheme and promoted it? Would he have axed it the way successive parliaments have done in such a clearly discriminatory fashion. Not to mention the 'buy Solar and get one free scheme' that was so popular the power generation companies paid politicians to dramatically reduce feed-in tariffs and purchase subsidies.

Hey big spender, Yes you, the elected one. Stop and think about these things after the lobbyists have told you what they want, think long and hard about what President Kennedy said 'think not of what your wallet can do for you but what you can do for your wallet.'