Saturday, September 24, 2016

MOTHBUSTERS


News this week that VicRoads were about to divert the new Western Highway near Beaufort ‘ever so slightly’ to avoid disturbing a colony of moths has made a farce out of the entire conservation movement.
The Astonisher was so shocked by the revelation that it sent a reporter down to the intended diversion to find out what was going on.
Waiting until dark and then setting out with a few flares we were able to make contact with the Chief Red Moth and ask him what all the fuss was about.
Having established a protocol for the interview by promising not to hit him with a copy of the Linton Ewes we were able to ascertain, though our interpreter and a haze of flapping wings and moth dust, that VicRoads was threatening to knock down their redundant Civic Hall and replace it with a park.
The reality that the park would in fact actually be the nature strip between opposing traffic lanes did not seem to deter the government officials.
Its time that we stood up to protect the streets, houses, clubs, pubs and shops of all Moths from this wanton destruction of our habitat. Some have even contemplated boarding leaky boats and setting sail for Tasmania.
We urge all our readers to gather in Susses Street next Sunday and let our thoughts be known.

‘Freedom for all Moths, Myths and Mythers’


Friday, September 9, 2016

LETS STOP BULLSHIT WITH THE SPIN



This writer has been astonished again recently when a two-page yellow spread came through my letter box from the Stockyard Hill Community Guardians, who seem very shy of using local newsletters such as the Skipton News or the Linton Ewes to try to get their message across. Maybe they have the same problem as me in getting anything printed regardless of how serious or beneficial into the Linton Ewes. (So much for wanting contributions from the local community) Maybe that might just be sour grapes on my part and not wanting anyone to know who he is on his part.
In this double page waste of paper the Liberal Member for Wannan Dan Tehan was listed as a supporter. Not being able to get a response from the ‘Guardians’ I emailed him about the matter, again no response, so he’s off my Xmas List.
Also shown as a supporter was the DLP Senator John Madigan of Ballarat. We’’d met him here at the Railway Hotel so at least he shows his face unlike Tehan or Mayor Blake. Looking up his web page we note that Madigan has set himself up as the peoples hero in the fight against the evil scourge of wind turbines. Like Don Quixote he’s a deluded man dedicated to fight an enemy that is not only harmless but beneficial. He is also a strong supporter of coal fired power generation. Sounds very similar to Bob Santa Maria and his fight against the scourge of Satan.
Googling around I also find Nick Xenophobe (sorry) Xenophon, the outspoken Adelaide Senator against everything. He hates poker machines, alcohol, cigarettes , sex and now apparently windmills.
Another well-known supporter is Sydney broadcaster Alan Jones. The shock jock crank who is more interesting in downing action than uplifting conversation. What a bummer he turned out to be.
Finally Graham Lloyd who says its all a Murdoch conspiracy.
On a Sister site - www.swindleaustralia.com we find more information except who to contact for comment. Who is swindling who? When we look up their contact it just lists ‘Web Admin’. They do not list our Skipton Group as being affiliated nor does the Skipton Group show up as a Registered Organisation.
The only name I could find of anyone who might actually know what they were talking about was their expert Steve Cooper who is an Acoustics Engineer. That’s it. Him and only him. By training and experience I could call myself an acoustic engineer to - it means nothing. Anyone can install pegboards and ceiling batts.
There were seven comments on their Windwiki. Two from the same American and five from Tanya Burnett. Maybe we should put a Pullyawicki on our website.
Nowhere does it tell you who runs the organisation, not even in the About Section. If they expect us to accept their truth then they best tell us who they are first.
Maybe we’ll wander around this yellow toilet paper before we put it to use and look at some of there unsubstantiated claims.
Facts: 157 are turbines approved, each turbine the equivalent of a 747 jumbo jet on top of a twenty story skyscraper. All turbines are located between 1-10 Km of houses.
Our response is that not even Melbourne Airport puts out that much noise and people live under the flight paths. Do they think each windmill is a latent Krakatoa. I’m not within 10Km of a fan so I can’t sneakiliy request these aliens come and test my prostate. I do have ‘tinny-titty-itus’ though or maybe its those windmills near Beaufort.
They complain that Origin didn’t ask the community if they could quarry around Mount Monmot for construction materials. They don’t have to if its on private land and its approved by council. I didn’’t have to ask my neighbour if I could dig a hole in my garden?
Fact: Origin has threatened legal action against landholders who wish to get out of contracts. That the same rights as we all have to take legal action against people who want to break contracts with us as well isn’t it? Try breaking a rental agreement.
They say that Origin Energy disrespects, divides and damages. What does this mob think this crap does?
Of the fourteen ‘We know’ statements - not one of them can be backed up by facts, data, information. It’’s all anecdotal.
I could say I spoke to God while I was pooping the morning and its about as provable as the facts these people misinterpret. If you want me to believe it then I have to see it or at least have some credible evidence.
They have formed a professional view that sufferers are not hypochondriacs. Who are these professionals? Professor Con Doolan (how appropriate) has done ‘unique research (which means nobody else in the world has thought of it) showing a direct causal link between these turbines and people with similar medical problems 10Km away. 10Km? So if I have a sleepless night then somebody else within 10Km will have a sleepless night as well because of the turbines?
Tell us who the fuck you are first then we’ll take you seriously. Not one of the supposed 100 members has put their name to anything going public.
The Astonisher will fight them on the beaches, we’ll fight them in the air, we’ll fight them at sea whoever these stupid fools be.


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