In the beginning He created heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep,the Spirit of God hovering over the Mount Franklin waters.
And God said,“Let there be Incandescent light,” and there was incandescent light. Saw that the Osram light was good,he separated the Osram light from the Phillips . Called the Osram light “ Woman’s Day,” and the Phillips he called “Sleep City Night.” there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
And God said,“Let there be a vault to the waters for to separate light water from heavy water.” So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. It was so. God called vault “sky.” there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
And God said, “Let the Mount Franklin water under the Etihad sky be gathered to one place, let dry ground appear.” And it was so called the dry ground “Australia,” and the gathered Mount Franklin waters called “seas.” God saw that it was good.
Then God said, “Let the land produce gorse vegetation: -modified seed-bearing plants and pine tree plantations on the land that bear fruit without seed in it, according to Monsanto. ” And it was so. The land produced gorse vegetation: GM plants bearing seed according to their kinds pine trees bearing fruit with no seed in it according to Monsanto. And God saw that it was good. There was evening, and there was morning—the third day.
And God said, “Let there be downlights the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, let them be L.E.D lights in the vault of the sky to give soft light on the earth.” And it was so. God made two great lights—the greater light that govern day he called News Limited and the lesser light to govern night he called This Day Tonight. And he also made the TV stars. God set them in the vault of the sky to transmit light to the earth, govern the day and the night, to separate light Comedy programmes from Game Show darkness. And God saw that it was good. There was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.
And God said, “Let the Mount Franklin water teem with living creatures,all manner of Birdeye let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” God created the great creatures of the sea every living thing with which the Mount Franklin water teems and that moves about in it, to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that Virgin Airlines **, and Carnival Cruises and Manly Ferry’s were good and blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the Mount Franklin water in the seas, and let the birds, especially KFC Chickens, increase on the earth.” There was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.
And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures to their kinds: livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” He created Football Teams and it was so and made the wild animals according to their kinds, Tigers, Panthers, Lions and the livestock according to their kinds, Football Fans, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds., NFL, and God’s own favourite Soccer. And God saw that it was good.
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, our likeness, that they may rule over the Birdseye in the sea and the KFC in the sky, over the grain-fed livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” And so he created Advertising Agencies and Account Executives and Ticket Writers and he saw that it was good.
So God created his own image, in the image of God created them; male and female created them, Nobility and Dictators he created them, cross dressers and people who were gay he created them, and people who fantasize of sex with vacuum cleaners and watermelons he created them. But the Devil not God created he the species called Vegans for he saw that it was bad. That they would gobble seeds and not the animals that seeds were meant to feed. God saw the badness in Vegans and said that they should be treated as humans in need of special care.
God blessed them all who ate Meat and said to them,““Be fruitful and increase in number; most of thine at least, the earth subdue it. Rule over fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
Then God said, “I give you every GM seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with no seed in it. They will be for Woolworths. To all the beasts of the earth for Megameats and all the blackbirds in the sky for Red Rooster and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life it—I give every green plant for food to Curtis Fresh.” And it was so.
God saw all that he had made, it was very good. There was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.
Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the T.V hosts for them. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made and he said that Carpet King Touch Football and Commonwealth Bank cricket should they be blessed to play on the seventh day. And he blessed all those who play for Packer-stan. All the generations of the footballers and of the cricketers they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,
Footnotes:
** There is no commercial relationship between Virgin Airlines and the Virgin Birth.
