I
recently became aware of the ‘Darwin Prize’. In the same vein as
the Nobel or Eureka Prizes it consists of giving awards to those
people who voluntarily remove themselves from the nations gene pool
either by running their cars into trees at twice the speed limit,
blowing themselves up for a fictional Supergod or joining a
monastry/convent although not adhereing to those rules of celibacy
has caused some to leak into our gene pool.
How
do we know someone is in line for the award? Here we suggest ten:-
1.
Women who feed Coca Cola and Macca’s to their one year old.
2.
Cyclists who wear lycra and ride more than three abreast.
3.
They who believe the Kardashians are Superstars instead of the
big-arsed morons they really are.
4.
Geoffrey Edelston who thinks teenage models are attracted to the size
of his prize and not the thickness of his wallet.
5.
Executives of the Linton and Happy Valley Progress Associations.
6.
Reverands who think boys are attractive little beasts.
7.
Australian citizens who race off to star in ‘Mission Impossible:
The Caliphate’
8.
Artists who paint with their won excreta
9.
Voters who believe politicians don’t lie
10.
Customers who want to get carpet burn from the bar-room floor
Darwins
Theory ‘that only the fittest survive’ is far more plausible than
Noah’s Ark ‘where only those who were welcomed aboard will
survive’. It was long ago that I woke up to the mathematical
impossibility that 40,000 pairs of creatures great and small were
able to fit into a wooden boat half the size of the QE2 and the
impossible task of preventing them from eating each other.
No,
I prefer to believe that numbnuts will begat idiots, geeks will begat
psychopaths and private boarding schools will begat politicians.
