THE BRICK

“ITS GOLD, GOLD, GOLD FOR LINTON””

Despite constant denials to the contrary the recent find of an enormous lump of gold (about 300 grands worth) in one piece at Edinburgh Reserve has prompted a surge in Detector Sales and a flurry of activity by hump-backed tourists swaying from side to side around the artificial lake.

Once the site of the Edinburgh Gold Mine, which it is said still consumes much of the rainwater running along that part of the highway, it had only a short period giving up its treasures and the mine along with its Stamping Battery closed around the early 1900’s.

Not deterred by the fact that gold became too expensive to mine for the better part of the 20th Century, the sale of the Ballarat Gold Mine to Japan has seen the value of gold ascend to record highs and made it a profitable pursuit for those willing to put in the time and effort to sell our birthright at fire sale prices. Will the recent find set off another Linton Gold Rush? We would be astonished if it did but it might put us back on the map so that even our neighbours in Ballarat can find us.

We believe that the current Gold Bubble, which is reminiscent of the famed Tulip Bubble as recently as 1637, has seen unscrupulous speculators in the precious metal move from offering to repair pensioners roofs to pawning their gold teeth. Someone will lose out and it will be those who can least afford it.

THE MULL OF ENTIRE

After all this nurturing and maybe some sleepless nights up watching out for poachers you will get to the time of the 'drying'. The drying process is the most important time in the full cycle of Muggle and Hagrid growing. It is at this point where you can either make your produce taste better and enhance not only the flavour but also the effect (upon your palate) or you can lock in that green taste permanently by being too anxious.

We firmly believe that the longer you can stretch out the drying process the better the harvest becomes. Especially with Hagrid your fruit will not acquire its final taste until it has been drying for at least a fortnight. The most popular method would be by hanging the stems upside down (remembering that when hanging your plants it should be done in a dark and cool position. Drought effected harvests may suffer a bit at this time.) Once the plants are hung they should be left, like venison, for about three days. After that we suggest you cut off all the arms (or the legs of venison) and rehang them for a further three days.

After this period is over and the harvest has begun drying you need to add a bit of Swedish custom to the process, highly recommended, and get Hagrid or Muggle to sweat a bit. A good way to do this without using an expensive sauna is to put all the buds into a re-sealable plastic bucket to sweat in out for at least ten days. The problems you can run into when curing is that it has a tendency to go mouldy. When removing it to the air it shouldn't be left out for too long as it can dry very quickly but if you repeat this process of airing every two days the chances of it going mouldy are very slim. We have been led to believe, but as yet to prove, that by proper curing of your harvest the effects on your senses are greatly increased and the admiration of your friends will be boundless.

Another method o drying is to clip all of the buds off your plants and spread them out on trays. This is effective but they (especially Muggels) will dry out much quicker so it is important to keep an eye on the buds especially if you have your eye on the prospect of curing them. Dry them out to much and you will find it very hard to make them sweat. Drying the buds on trays is really advantageous if you only have a small space in which to work but a down-side is that they will have a flattened appearance instead of the full-bodied look that they have when hung. If you in a position to obtain some crop, for comparison and analysis, from another grower this is something to look for.

We think that it is best to leave the leaf on the buds until the whole drying process has been completed. Some admirers of the plant like to see the whole product and not just the best features. If you cut off the leaves of many flowers they do not look as healthy and wholesome. Some admirers though will only want to buy the buds and this is a personal choice for personal admiration.

The finished product you will find will be about a quarter of the original weight when it was harvested. This is only to be expected when the heaviest ingredient (water) has been removed. Contrary to some less experienced admirers, spinning the product in a salad dryer when airing does not improve anything but the length of your arm.

Any leaf trimmed off your buds can go towards a compost heap for next seasons crop, for a different method of fertilising. The use of compost can have the added benefit of allowing any viable seed to burst into life again and increase the density of your planting.

Finally if you need to build and enclosure to house your plants, in our experience, it is best to spend that little bit more to create the perfect environment and protection. The saving of a few dollars early in the piece can end up being a big mistake, as is pissing off your neighbours. It can effect the growth of your plants caused by an unexpected early harvest.

Never forget Murphy's Law. 'Always expect the unexpected'

Other publications in the Hanging Garden Series.

THE CENTRE COURT – A short course in self-defence.

Written by HELEN BACH