THE CHANGING FACE

Once upon a time handbag-swinging, hat-wearing and be-gloved old ladies complained about the fact that if we permitted black people into this country, we would become a nation of milk chocolate coloured people. There were at least two things wrong with these statements. One was that the blacks were already here when Captain Cook colonised us and not all black men are that well-hung that every white woman would want to be rooted by them.

Australia is, like many other nations who admit new faces, all the better for it. History shows that almost half our businesses have been built by migrants and only half of them had any inkling of the english language. They employed people and invented things, they made things and dug things up, they also did all the menial shit jobs we locals wouldn’t do.Without migrants we would not have multi-cultural crime gangs and N.E.S.B convicts. We would never have developed beyond simple W.A.S.P bogans outside milk bars and their only claim to fame, the ability to spell fuk correctly.

The community has a tendency to categorise everything, place things in little identifiable bunches and develop ‘one in, all in’ mentalities. If an Asian youth commits a crime then it must follow that all Asians youths are criminals, the theory of ‘eyes too close together’ has evolved into ‘their eyes are too slanty’. Every time we hear of a crime committed by someone of ‘Arabic appearance’ everyone seems to automatically associate everyone who looks Arabic with being a criminal or a terrorist. If a one-legged red-haired person rapes a lady then every woman suddenly starts to fear being around men with one leg and red hair.

Of course this is all absolute rubbish. Data will show that there is less crime amongst migrants and refugees than there are amongst locally born naughty people, they just stand out because there skin is black, brown, yellow or just plain ‘swarthy’.

We cannot deny that this land was invaded by the British but since that time Australia has been a country built by migrants and refugees, even if the first few did arrive in chains and the latter in leaky fishing boats.

Some people who look Asian or Arabic may be third and fourth generation Australians, started families and begat children, and contributed to our society and volunteered in our emergency services, yet even in small towns like Linton we are still suspicious of anyone who doesn’t look like one of us and even start locking our doors so as to protect ourselves against ‘them’.

Maybe we should count ourselves lucky that we are a multi-cultural society that does not have the same problems as our Mother country, that we see Steeples, Mosques and Temples as just another part of the landscape, and who still believe that Concentration Camps on isolated Pacific Islands are the answer to all our ills.

Lets face the truth here. Yes these latest arrivals did come here illegally, yes they did risk death, yes they did give up everything that had worked hard for. But lets face it to get here they had to have money and in the countries where they came from they were not simple ‘goat-herders’. A majority of these people are highly skilled, educated and civilised. If they had a house to sell, they had money, if they had a skill they are employable. The very fact that we prevent them from working, and drain our social security system is a crazy way to look at things. These people could be working, even on temporary Visa’s, and not as is always claimed ‘taking our jobs’. If refugees are allowed to work they begin to contribute to our country in more ways than we can imagine.

Australia for two centuries, descended from criminals and exiled gentry, prided itself on the principal of a fair go for all who gave the country a fair go but somehow we have turned our back on that principle and become a selfish self-centred nation unwilling to share our bountry. That is greed and that is a mortal sin.

THE CLEVER EMIGRANT

I suppose that it doesn’t come as a surprise, even though our Dear Leader would surely know what the word avarice means, that Australia is now the most expensive nation in which to get an education and still they whinge and whine about how universities and colleges of advanced education are costing too much money to operate.

Keep in mind when you read this story that most of those wanting to raise university fees received a free University education under demi-God Gough Whitlam.

Much of this problem can be laid at the feet of John Howard, not for supporting fees but from driving up the cost of running universities. In a bid to one-up the States he moaned and groaned about the quality of education and the way in which the sates were delivering it. At a when all states were Labor and the federation was Liberal.

He decided to enter the Technical field by adding them to Universities. This is why people who want to act, write, create or destroy attend a University. It sound really high falutin but really just brings down the higher ideals of the lofty arts and pouts them in the hands of potential barristers who serve coffee and not the law.

Universities like Sydney and Melbourne were once held in high esteem. A certificate from one of these great kudos and a belief you were dealing with the best in the country. Doctors, Dentists, Lawyers and Economists. Universities like Wollongong, Ballarat and Bond had lower expectations of their students and the honour of their degrees Arts, Music, Counselling and Chiropractice.

Colleges were better known for Associate Degrees in animation, cooking, knitting and chicken raising or Certificates in welding, computing, electronics and French polishing.

The civil service has a habit of self-perpetuation and even rapid growth as, like a virus, they multiply voraciously all with the intent of ruling the masses. So the cost of running these places of higher leaning rise more rapidly than the number of students or the fees.

It’s a very military type of structure where every box has to be ticked and every senior office saluted. Every 9 actual teachers had to have a team leader (+assistant), every six teams a supervisor (+ 2 assistants) every three supervisors had to have a manager (+2 assistants and a secretary) every Manager had to have a Head of Department (+3 assistants, 2 clerks and a receptionist) and so on all the way up the chain of command to the Minister for Education. It is believed that for 100 students in the system there are 32 just to operate the system.

As an example of priorities. When I did my prestigious Welding Degree at Ballarat (see also Federation University or School of Mines) one of the Tutors, those who demonstrated how not to set fire to ourselves, instructed us about O.H & S and to ensure that machines were safely secured with a lock when being left un-attended. But because they had just bought a $48,000 Virtual Welding Machine (a foolproof way not to be able to destroy anything) they could not afford enough locks to secure the machines. He then showed us how to do it with a bit of wire twisting where the lock should have gone.

This is just one example of the bureaaucratic madness which can ensue in government departments which drive up costs which then have to be recovered. So to cut a short story long the federal department of education, which doesn’t actually run anything with its 7,000 staff) John Howard gave all the states a great excuse to wind back and abolish much of the states institutes for technical training.

What really is the point of this story? The high cost of an Australian education makes it very attractive for our brightest, cleverist and financially secure young people to go overseas for a cheaper, and superior education, at places like Caltech, Harvard and M.I.T (Massachusetts not Melbourne). Once there they can graduate, apply for a Green Card and earn two to three times as much income in US research establishments and Mulit-national Corporations. How else would it be that Australians once headed the World Bank and Ford. On TV one constantly runs across experts in America with clear Australian accents.

Two young Australians are now leading the field in Drone delivery technology in Nevada, interrupting the work of Google, Amazon and their like. This could never happen in Australia we do not have the imagination, the foresight or the adventurous investors to develop high technology on this island. The government has made it so and the public service, devoid of any guts, has willed it so.

If they are forced to stay in Australia for their Degree, they face huge H.E.C.S loans (an attempt at commercial interest rates failed) which, if they then fly the coop to England, Europe or the U.S to work do not have to repay the loan as their salary is not paid in Australia and our Tax Department is none the wiser.

So our advice to aspiring Biochemists, Aerospace Engineers, Marine Scientists and Technology wizards is, why single and financial go overseas for your schooling and only return here to get married and raise the bar on the quality of our intellectuals.

The moral of the story. ‘If it can be fucked up by governments then Australia is the place to do it’.

THE BURQA IS GOOD

It will only take one small step to bring true racial, sexual and social equality to Australia. Imagine men and women being truly equal. That one’s outward appearance makes not one iota of difference, where the shape of your eyes and the colour of your skin matter not one jot.

Imagine if you will, one day being able to fall out of bed and go to work without the worry of ever shaving either face or legs, combing hair or squeezing blackheads.

Think of the day that you can wear whatever you like in fact you could go to work completely naked and nobody would know the difference.

That’s right …… one small step for mankind

INTRODUCE THE BURQA FOR ALL SEXES

Both men and women could drape themselves in a Burqa and all your physical worries would end. Absolute gender equality.

Adolescent boys would never have to stress out of the latest zit erupting under their nose. Young girls would never have to worry about their figure and whether they were attractive or not. But we would still have a fairly large wardrobe, for it would be necessary and one might suggest fashionable to have a variety of Burqa’s to wear.

The White Burqa could be reserved for Virgins, Celibates and the religiously inclined. Conservative Nuns and Priests are already there but for a comfy hood.

Black for those functions where it was necessary to dress formal or semi-formal. Weddings, Funerals and Bar Mitzvah’s. The Black and White Ball would simply become the Black Ball.

Schoolchildren would wear the colour of their school with a number on their shoulder to denote which Year they were at. Parents may of course have to resort to various noises to figure out which child was theirs when it came time to pick them up. If Monkeys and Penguins can do it so could we.

Adolescents, always wanting to be that little bit different could rely on the rag trade to kit them out for the next Rave.

The Adidas Burqa with three white stripes down the side, or the Nike with its fashionable Swoosh.

Extasy Blue, Cocaine Green, Heroin Henna or Marijuana Mauve. What a great selection of tasteful ‘in’ colours could be made.

You would not even have to be a great dancer either, who would know if you were doing the twist or the hokey kokey under the full-length outfit.

Drinking and smoking might be a bit of a problem, but what a wonderful way to smoke and not get caught, disguising the smoke coming from the eye slots by swinging a fashionable incense burner on the outside.

When it comes to work outfits one could have an array of these too.

Photographers could develop photos on the spot by just squatting down. Firemen in their bright red fibreglass Burqa’s would be automatically flame retardant and could cool off in the bushfires with a quick drive along the fire trail with their Burqa held out toward the wind.

Uniforms would be a thing of the past too. Imagine our army fully kitted out in Camouflaged Burqa’s, useful for daily wear and then double as Raincoat and one-person Tent. What better to disguise one’s presence by looking almost like a real Hedge or Blackberry Bush? Sand coloured Birqa’s would mean all one had to do was to sit on the beach and nobody could find you.

Police need to be identified readily so what about a navy blue outfit with little chequerboard cuffs, collars and hems. The end would come to that terrible Policepersons habit of having to hitch up ones trousers due to the weight of all the paraphernalia around their belt. Handcuffs, Batons, Pistols, Radios and the like would not be seen and thus could be secreted with leather straps wherever they were most comfortable.

The best sight of all of course would be the vision of a Cardinal Pell addressing the Vatican Council through the mesh of his Burqa while two small feet stick out under the bottom hem.

I say anything and everything is possible if we all, brothers and sisters adopt the Afghan Burqa as standard daily dress.

THE ADRENALIN IN THE CHASE

Far too often we read in the newspapers and more likely watch on television events before during and after high speed Police pursuits around our region. But in the words of ‘Sumner-Miller’ Why is this so?

Some pursuits are indeed highly necessary but I believe many may also be as a result of the adrenalin rush involved in the chase by everyone involved police and perpetrators alike. Not one to say I told you so but in the past I have had experience with young people who thought it a great idea to steal other peoples’ property, especially cars.

In one particular case there was an enterprising teenager who was stealing cars, hiding them away and then placing notices on the police citizens and community notice boards that he knew where the vehicle had been dumped. He never damaged a car but always encourage the grateful owners to provide a $50 reward for his efforts.

In another case two young offenders openly admitted that it was not financial gain but the adrenalin rush of the police chase that they were after. In there last chase the two boys ran straight into a hefty power pole, neither wearing seat belts, the passenger was catapulted through the windscreen and now has an acquired brain injury, the driver crushed his chest on the steering wheel breaking half his ribs, breaking his spine and the steering column almost piecing his heart, they both now have lifeling disablities. life.

In this case where the vehicle was stolen the police had all reasonable cause to enter into a pursuit however there is technology available today where police vehicles almost have the ability to see what you had for breakfast, and they can do it either driving towards you or behind you. They know whether your car is legal and registered and they know if it has been stolen.

My suggestion to the powers that be would entail, where possible recognition of the cars plates and an identification of the registered owner. If it is registered and not reported stolen would it not be better to call off any pursuit and just tail them safely. In the meantime another unit could be dispatched to the owners address and stake it out until they return.

In the case where the registered owner was not directly involved, maybe their child or a friend had the vehicle, then a charge should be laid against the owner similar to aide and abet unless they can prove the vehicle was taken without their knowledge.

We believe that at least a third of dangerous pursuits could be avoided and the subsequent risk to innocent bystanders and other drivers reduced accordingly. With cars getting more sophisticated and computerised maybe some time in the future there will be a way that pursuing police will be able to remotely disable the vehicle. Does anybody else have an idea how these pursuits could be lessened or made safer with the subsequent saving of innocent lives?