SPOOKIE !!!!!!

Have you ever had one of those days when you cease to be amazed at the natural world and the animals that inhabit it?


I have not long been a farmer of Pet Sheep and I am still coming across some surprising occurrences. I have often wandered why Sheep regardless of where they are, how well they are trained or what they are doing with inexplicably have a panic attack turning their more leisurely scampering into a polite stampede.

Mine are usually led by Farsi who seems frightened even of her own shadow. Once this Muslim Merino takes off the remainder of the flock, as if on some kind of Hajj, will inevitably take off with her.

Farsi hasn't been living at our place very long, having recently arrived as a Boat Sheep, so I have not had the chance to really sit down and have a woman to sheep talk with her. I often notice her gazing off into the western dusk just before Prayer Time.

Last Friday was different however. It must have been the end of Ramadan. I was lazing in the hammock in the afternoon sun reading the Linton Ewes when I felt her quietly come up beside me and after she checked the others were off eating decided to confide in me. She brought her mouth up to my ear.

“ I see dead sheep” she whispered.

I knew that I had to get this astonishing story off to the Astonisher as soon as I could. Not being a particular religious person I did have to do a bit of research as to the possibility of this phenomena before putting pen to paper, and this is what I found.

What I believe Farsi was seeing was not actually dead sheep but Jinns. (See footnote)

The Prophet Muhammad said: There are 3 types of Jinn; One type flies through the air, another type consists of snakes and dogs. A third is based in one place but travels about.

I'm not quite sure if he was speaking of Amir (The Jinn who resides with people) or The Gin (who resides in cocktail bars) For sheep I dare say it is most likely 'The Bobbin' (that resides at the end of a spinning wheel). Anyway Farsi drew from deep within her fleece, I suspect from somewhere under her tail a copy of the Quran. And so it came to pass that she did read from it to me.

"And their recompense shall be Paradise, and silken garments, because they were patient. Reclining on raised thrones, they will see there neither the excessive heat of the sun, nor the excessive bitter cold, (as in Paradise there is no sun and no moon). The shade will be close upon them, and bunches of fruit will hang low within their reach. Vessels of silver and cups of crystal will be passed around amongst them, crystal-clear, made of silver. They will determine the measure of them according to their wishes. They will be given a cup (of wine) mixed with Zanjabeel, and a fountain called Salsabeel. Around them will (serve) boys of perpetual youth. If you see them, you would think they are scattered pearls. When you look there (in Paradise) you will see a delight (that cannot be imagined), and a Great Dominion. Their garments will be of fine green silk and gold embroidery. They will be adorned with bracelets of silver, and their Lord will give them a pure drink." The Quran [76:12-21]

Lo and behold she did finish reading the passage to me and it was good. Getting up from the hammock to refill by wine glass I did suffer from a dizzy spell and I imagined that Farsi was wearing a belt of explosives around her waist.

So it came to pass that I too see dead sheep. There Farsi lay in the Freezer where I placed all the parts that I could find scattered around the property and I celebrate that Ramadan is over.

De auteur ist aan dik slob.

Maxine Suffolk - Spiritual Correspondent

Footnote: The Jinn are beings created with free will, living on earth in a world parallel to mankind. The Arabic word Jinn is from the verb 'Janna' which means to hide or conceal. Thus, they are physically invisible from man as their description suggests. This invisibility is one of the reasons why some people have denied their existence. However, the affect which the world of the Jinn has upon our world, is enough to refute this modern denial of one of Allah's creation.

DRUGS AND BLOW-INS

Billy the Goat got into the feed shed the other day and devoured at least two kilograms of Wild Bird Mix. It’s not the fact he just helped himself, and now looks like he swallowed a soccer ball, but it is the after-effects that worry me. Ever since eating the bird seed he has been experiencing some sort of trip.

It even happens with the sheep. If some bird seed accidentally spills on the ground as I’m dispensing it into my patented high-enough, non-tipable, tree mounted bird-feeder (An old glass ashtray jammed into the fork of a nearby tree) Bill and all the sheep start fighting over the spoils. They will butt heads and generally hassle each other for the honour of rubbing their noses in the dirt to vacuum up bird seed.

Bill however, upon catching sight of one or two lonely seeds in the shed, will flick his tongue (a-la-K.I.S.S) through the gap between the floor and wall of the shed and slobber up every single seed within reach. He will also nudge the tin wall to get in closer. It’s a bit off-putting watching a little pink wet thing French kissing the cracks in the wall. I’m worried. Are bird seeds a drug, a kind of ‘marriage-a-wanna’?

What got me onto this subject was a conversation I had with a long-term resident about Blow-ins. Apparently a blow-in is anyone who was NOT BORN IN THE TOWN (or arrived here before the death of Queen Victoria). There are contradictions of course. You cease to be a Blow-in if you marry a Certified Local. What he could not answer was ‘If two Blow-ins have a baby, is that baby then a Local?’
Anyway this person claimed that there were no drugs before the Blow-ins came to town. No crime, no wife-bashing and certainly no disrespect for the Constabulary. I argued that there have always been drugs in every town. How many hotels did the area have in it’s good days? Cigarettes? What about the blokes on Viagra?
My friend could not accept the fact that drugs and drug use are not confined to us City-slickers or Blow-ins. I’m no gambler (the last time I played a Poker Machine it had a handle on it and took Pennies) but I’d bet a considerable sum of money (say a quid) if anyone could prove that NO LOCAL has ever taken drugs.
There are pills and potions for going to sleep and getting up, suppressing our appetite or getting it going, slowing us down, speeding us up, making us happy and calming us down.

“Want a mood? Here take this”.

I am not advocating the use, growing or the sale of any drug illicit or legal, but I do object to sweeping statements such as ‘Locals don’t use drugs’.

On another subject. I must also make mention that a little birdie told me (or that’s all I’m saying) that the reason many of the recognised true Locals do not participate in anything around town is because they are supposedly sick of all the Blow-Ins telling them what they need to do for the town to stay alive, to attract new residents who are preferably younger than Moses, promote tourism and hence new or more successful businesses.

OK so some of us ‘newbies’ do participate on committees that are about as progressive as a Barn Dance, mixing and matching ideas and activities that eventually lead you back to where you started but we are alive and kicking at least. I for one want to participate in the life of the town and not just to sit in a corner and rust away, or only walk as far as needed to peek through the gaps in the lace curtains. I refuse to do-se-do myself into a grave.

Tribalism has gone the same way as the Flat Earth Society. A Local to me is anyone who has made a commitment to the town, has bought into the town, supports local business or contributes to the community. It is not someone who barricades themselves inside a fortress and throws rocks at passing strangers yelling ‘begone ye debils’.

That reminds me of a conversation I had with my relocationists over moving my house onto the block.

“What day would you like to move?”

“4th November”, I said.

“Why that date?” he questioned.

“That’s the ‘Back to Linton Festival Day”,

I replied.

“Is that significant?” he asked.

“Well they will most likely have a Parade and I could decorate the moving house with balloons and bolster up the show as it came through town”.

He laughed quite loudly. “Fat chance’ he said, “The parade’s been called off. The only Girl Guide has gone off on a camp”.



GODFREY ZONE