By Allan Packer
(Community Development Correspondent)
Of late there has been a really concerted drive to publicise the merits of Linton and District and attract tourists. One idea raised was that we should publish a Fine Dining Guide to the town. It was to this suggestion that I volunteered to do the necessary research and visit the various licensed establishments and rate them for excellence. I chose one particular night to visit all establishments so that I was in a similar mood at all of them and not give biased information.
The first establishment I visited was the Railway Hotel. As my Doctor had advised that I could have only one glass of wine every day, but didn’t specify how many times that glass could be refilled, I ordered a bottle of Queen Adelaide, my usual drop whilst I established the quality of service this hotel provided.
I met David the Licensee in the company of one of the more regular patrons who, it appeared, could even have an argument with a place mat. Both were watching four-stick football on the TV.
On asking what was special about the place I was told about ‘The Belvedere Room’ a special Dining Area for quiet, intimate dinners. I asked if they served ‘Sheep’s Brain Burgers’ but was advised that they might be available at the next pub because they serve a lot of tripe down there.
I finished my bottle of red wine and asked for directions to this ‘next pub’. David told me to go out the bar door and turn left. Walk past the CFA station and just keep turning left and eventually I would come to the next pub.
After the first couple of turns I sorted of half fell past a little dolls house with a big aerial in one of the streets, opposite a little church hidden behind the shrubbery. I then did a couple of lefts near the Post Office and there it was, a well-lit eclecteric sign that said ‘Linton Hotel’ although the lettering was a bit blurry and flickered a lot. I found and entered through an arched entry door marked Eclectic.
Once inside I espied a little window opposite the Emporium and tapped on it. It slid open and a girl who introduced hershelf as Bev appeared on the other side.
I ordered my bottle of Quit Adelaide and walked through to a room that contained a Pool Table and a Nuke Box. Someone called Mick, or Nick or Rick or something was practising Pool for the impending Competition. I didn’t think that playing with two balls of each colour was the proper way to play. Bev the Barkeep in between Doo-wops and Dipsy Doodles let me know that Pizza was available 7 days a week except on Monday and No, I must have been mislead about the Sheep’s Brain Burgers. Maybe the next pub had them but she hadn’t been down there for a while but they offal a big menu..
Watching some more peoples alive for the Pools thingy I finished my second bottle of Queer Adeline, asked Bevery directions and off I went.
Following her instructions after going through the arched doorway I was told to turn right five times and I’d get to the next pub. I past the Craft Shop and the Hairdressers and hung two rights, here I found another pissy little painted shed with a rooly stupid tower in front. Finding it hard going tramping through the shrubbery in the middle of the street and doing two more rights lo and behold about 420 paces or twenty metres later there was the ‘Wailray Tofu’.
I didn’t realise that there were two steps through the door and only slipped up one. As a result I leaned forward too quickly and noticed some very interesting knots in the tongue and groove flooring.
I introduced my self to the bar lady who said she was Krisp or something and I ordered my third bottle of Quick Acid. She was also serving Pony the Tainter at the time.
I think Krisp might have needed a glass glasses because she kep kept going in an out of focus. The goodness at this place were a bit lower than the others. The floor swayed an the bar kept moving away from m…me. One thing in common was that they all support the football team Adrenelin Blackbirds. This hotel has a Rest..Resta…Bist…..has a Café open on Frifridays and S.s.s.s…aturdays where I bleev can you get a good moll at affords prides an …forg …why bliddlin..duggle.
WE MUST APOLOGISE FOR THE STORY ENDING HERE. THE WRITER HAS JUST BEGUN RE-EXAMINING THE FLOOR BOARDS.
(Editor)
When the writer woke up he wished to state that he does not condone nor endorse irresponsible drinking of any alcoholic product including after-shave.
(Community Development Correspondent)
Of late there has been a really concerted drive to publicise the merits of Linton and District and attract tourists. One idea raised was that we should publish a Fine Dining Guide to the town. It was to this suggestion that I volunteered to do the necessary research and visit the various licensed establishments and rate them for excellence. I chose one particular night to visit all establishments so that I was in a similar mood at all of them and not give biased information.
The first establishment I visited was the Railway Hotel. As my Doctor had advised that I could have only one glass of wine every day, but didn’t specify how many times that glass could be refilled, I ordered a bottle of Queen Adelaide, my usual drop whilst I established the quality of service this hotel provided.
I met David the Licensee in the company of one of the more regular patrons who, it appeared, could even have an argument with a place mat. Both were watching four-stick football on the TV.
On asking what was special about the place I was told about ‘The Belvedere Room’ a special Dining Area for quiet, intimate dinners. I asked if they served ‘Sheep’s Brain Burgers’ but was advised that they might be available at the next pub because they serve a lot of tripe down there.
I finished my bottle of red wine and asked for directions to this ‘next pub’. David told me to go out the bar door and turn left. Walk past the CFA station and just keep turning left and eventually I would come to the next pub.
After the first couple of turns I sorted of half fell past a little dolls house with a big aerial in one of the streets, opposite a little church hidden behind the shrubbery. I then did a couple of lefts near the Post Office and there it was, a well-lit eclecteric sign that said ‘Linton Hotel’ although the lettering was a bit blurry and flickered a lot. I found and entered through an arched entry door marked Eclectic.
Once inside I espied a little window opposite the Emporium and tapped on it. It slid open and a girl who introduced hershelf as Bev appeared on the other side.
I ordered my bottle of Quit Adelaide and walked through to a room that contained a Pool Table and a Nuke Box. Someone called Mick, or Nick or Rick or something was practising Pool for the impending Competition. I didn’t think that playing with two balls of each colour was the proper way to play. Bev the Barkeep in between Doo-wops and Dipsy Doodles let me know that Pizza was available 7 days a week except on Monday and No, I must have been mislead about the Sheep’s Brain Burgers. Maybe the next pub had them but she hadn’t been down there for a while but they offal a big menu..
Watching some more peoples alive for the Pools thingy I finished my second bottle of Queer Adeline, asked Bevery directions and off I went.
Following her instructions after going through the arched doorway I was told to turn right five times and I’d get to the next pub. I past the Craft Shop and the Hairdressers and hung two rights, here I found another pissy little painted shed with a rooly stupid tower in front. Finding it hard going tramping through the shrubbery in the middle of the street and doing two more rights lo and behold about 420 paces or twenty metres later there was the ‘Wailray Tofu’.
I didn’t realise that there were two steps through the door and only slipped up one. As a result I leaned forward too quickly and noticed some very interesting knots in the tongue and groove flooring.
I introduced my self to the bar lady who said she was Krisp or something and I ordered my third bottle of Quick Acid. She was also serving Pony the Tainter at the time.
I think Krisp might have needed a glass glasses because she kep kept going in an out of focus. The goodness at this place were a bit lower than the others. The floor swayed an the bar kept moving away from m…me. One thing in common was that they all support the football team Adrenelin Blackbirds. This hotel has a Rest..Resta…Bist…..has a Café open on Frifridays and S.s.s.s…aturdays where I bleev can you get a good moll at affords prides an …forg …why bliddlin..duggle.
WE MUST APOLOGISE FOR THE STORY ENDING HERE. THE WRITER HAS JUST BEGUN RE-EXAMINING THE FLOOR BOARDS.
(Editor)
When the writer woke up he wished to state that he does not condone nor endorse irresponsible drinking of any alcoholic product including after-shave.
