The Running of the Alpacas

Country Towns already hold goat races, sheep races, frog hopping contests, pig calling and greasy pole climbing, somewhere there may even be a Maypole or Morris Dancing.

We’ve had the biggest Ute Muster, Bi-centennial Cattle Musters and even a Muster of Peacocks. We have big Bananas and Big Potatoes, Apples, Oranges, Fish and Crabs in fact even a Big Wellington Boot in Tully. We have thrown everything from mobile phones to cabers to cow-pats and even had a gathering of ‘Tossers’. This idea actually comes from Pamplona in Spain from their tradition of the ‘Running of the Bulls’.

Every Year and I suggest April Fool’s Day, as that also coincides with my birthday, we could invite Alpaca Owners and Breeders, maybe through their own Association, to gather in Linton for this exciting new blood sport. I’ll explain that later.

Council would be asked to close part of the Highway for the day, there are lots of suitable diversions such as via Cape Clear, so that sufficient parking would be available for the Arena Spectacular which would be set up at the Recreation Reserve. Mr.G might be happy to produce the show for us.

This would allow for a ‘showing off’’ of the animals that are taking part. Reason one to boast about speed and agility, and reason two to identify the owner of the alpaca which has just invaded your flower garden.

Sussex Street could be decked out with flags and bunting and other things to hide behind whilst marauding ‘quasi-camels’ come squealing up Brooke Street..

From the Sporting Complex the race would hopefully follow Sussex Street to the ‘finishing post’ in Edinburgh Reserve.

Now for an explanation of ‘blood sport’ in the introduction. Alpacas are very good at chasing after animals that shouldn’t be on your property, our two make remarkable noises if a dog comes within 50 Metres, and I think it’s been mentioned before that the Ginger Cat next door doesn’t last long on our side of the fence. The most notable is to see off any marauding foxes. Hence the blood.

I’m sure with a little encouragement our local Police Officer Tony Walker could nominate one or two suitable young miscreants around town, of a size suitable to dress up in a fox costume in lieu of home detention, or maybe the survivors’ prize could equal that of any outstanding fines. Doused liberally with fox urine the young person could be given thirty seconds head start before every Alpaca owners on the Oval fling wide their starting gate and let them rip.

What a wonderful international event. I’m sure it would attract the attention of several institutions ranging from the RSPCA to Community Services and P.E.T.A

Mer nästa månad Butch Suffolk