When it’’s our turn to elect a new Government it might be worthwhile keeping in mind what religious beliefs their esteemed leader may have while voting for it is those beliefs that will strengthen our Nanny State.
Take our present leader. An atheist living in sin who believes strongly in the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman? It’s just as believable as not introducing a carbon tax and not stabbing independent politicians in the back. Don’t get us wrong - at the Astonisher we are all good socialist lefties - we believe in fair and balanced reporting just as long as there is more weight on the left of the scales than their appears to be.
For example this is what Mitt Romney believes - so relax for at least four years……
EXTRACTS FROM STUDIES OF THE WORDS OF JOSEPH BROWN
(Founder of the Church of Latter Day Saints)
My soul delighteth in the words of Isaiah.--2 Nephi 25:5
Wherever he found his speech growing too modern - which was about every sentence or two - he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as 'exceeding sore,' 'and it came to pass,' etc., and made things satisfactory again. 'And it came to pass' was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet. -- Mark Twain, Roughing It, Chapter 16
It only took Nephi and his family three days to travel from Jerusalem to the Red Sea. (A distance of 250 miles) 2:6
After cutting off Laban's head, Nephi puts on Laban's clothes, and speaks to his servant "in the voice of Laban." The servant is fooled into thinking Nephi is his master. 4:19-21
Laban's servant figured Nephi was Laban and that he spoke for the church. What church? The Jews in 600 BCE didn't have churches did they? 4:26
It must have been an exceedingly good costume! Even Nephi's brothers thought he was Laban (because he was wearing Laban's clothes). 4:28
"The plates ... I have given the name of Nephi; wherefore, they are called the plates of Nephi, after mine own name; and these plates also are called the plates of Nephi." Okay, I guess we'll call them the plates of Nephi. 9:2
The Nephites were "white and exceedingly fair." 13:15
(The Native Americans are the decedents of those "who dwindled in unbelief." As a punishment for their disbelief, their skin was darkened and they became "a filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations." 12:22-23.
After 1965 the Elders had a ‘Revelation’ that this was indeed a falsehood visited upon the Church by the Devil. Because of U.S Anti-race laws the Church suddenly permitted ‘other races’ to join.)
A round brass ball "of curious workmanship" leads Lehi through the wilderness. A compass, perhaps? But compasses didn't exist in 600 BCE 16:10, 16
Nephi breaks his bow, "which was made of fine steel." But the technology for making steel did not exist in 600 BCE. 16:18
God told Lehi to look at the brass ball and read the words written upon it. And when he read the words "he did fear and tremble exceedingly." 16:26
The pointers on the ball work according to the faith of its user. And the words written on the ball change according to the faith of its user. So Nephi found his way to the top of the mountain by following the instructions that were written on the ball. 16:30
God "sent fiery flying serpents" to bite people. 17:41
In building the boat, "We did work timbers of curious workmanship." 18:1
Lehi and company didn't have to cook their food because God made it taste good raw. 17:12
Conclusion: If you want to have an even longer laugh visit the Website:
www.http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/BOM/int/long.html
AND SO IT CAME TO PASS THAT THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN EXCEEDINGLY SMALL - JUST LIKE THE BIBLE - BECAUSE JESUS WAS REALLY AN OPTOMOTRIST NOT A CARPENTER.
To borrow a phrase from God Gough
“WELL MIGHT WE SAY
GOD SAVED AMERICA”
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