Monday, March 10, 2014

BIG CATS IN LINTON


It’’s all over the news. Big cats have been terrorising over-imaginative people all over the country. They started in Katoomba a century ago and, like cane toads, have crept their way unseen all the way to Linton.

This myth has been around for a long time. Even the Korean thriller made in W.A in 2008 ‘A Million’ featured a spotted leopard in one scene. For some obscure reason leopards have appeared in several Australian movies as well usually just before the girl falls over a sprains her ankle. But Piddles, Daisy and Pansy. Tommy, Fluffy, Dim Sum and Satan or Winkles, Tinkles, Wendy and Bruiser are not about to tear your face off unless you forget to feed them.
Yes, they can be demanding. Yes, they can be painful when the claws come out and grab hold of you in your delicate parts. Yes, they will seem to love people who hate them instead of you. Yes, they leave hairs on everything they touch when not trying to tear it to shreds.
They annoy the shit out of your dog Napoleon and have for months been trying to get into Puthies bird cage or any unsuspecting Swallow. Yes, they do tend to tear mice apart. But NO they don’t stalk and terrify the town after dark. Generally speaking all the fat cats are down in Bannockburn and that’s a pretty long haul for any potential killer of lambs.
It’s all hokus pokus. Panthers just don’t live around us without us seeing them. If they had we would have had a lot of babies stolen out of cots and tents. The last sighting was a bit of panther shit back in 1991 (supposedly matching that of one in the Melbourne Zoo—fancy that) and by anyone's measure that makes it a pretty old cat. Maybe the stories just come from gay males in the bureaucracy being terrified of a bit of pussy and a desire to waste taxpayers money.

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