BEATING THE FUNK OF REGIONAL AUSTRALIA

In the next era of innovation companies seeking to disrupt entrenched industries like agriculture, energy, transportation or health care will head to those places where those sectors and industries exist in a grab it and run economy like Australia.

In reality we need to encourage and create national innovation and to keep it here.

One way to do this is to throw out the baby and the bathwater and rebuild a more vibrant, creative , innovative education system and not the learn by rote method we have utilized for the last 100 years. Teachers need not do any more than encourage experimentation, the skepticism to query all that we see for ourselves and turn a blind eye to some risks, let loose the power of the child’s brain and supervise the learning chaos that will erupt.

If you look at many of the successful and innovative people around the world you will find an incredible number who never finished school. They had the energy and creativity to leave formal education and use the skills that they already had.

Linton needs desperately to embrace the new world and encourage to our hamlet those families who make their living through the Internet or skillful artisans. Employment will never grow very much here unless we have a vibrant community that invites innovation.

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A CLASS FIVER

For me, as a Baby Boomer, the answer is No. The reason I say that is down to the fact that appear anywhere on a street in Ballarat or even in sleepy Linton you will see young people, nay children, heads down like a Bingo participant with their iThis and iThat, their Android or their Hemorrhoid. 
The wireless electronic world is sailing ahead full speed leaving us old folk floundering in their wake.
In the 70s it always pleased me to have to constantly alert my parents to the use of video recorders and cameras and even though the size of a bessa-brick they could not match todays stuff smaller than a matchbox. Now the foot is in the other shoe and I'm the one patiently being tutored in the latest mobile phone/camera/message system and/or pub quiz spoiler.

In the 70's it was 'see this lever here that says record and leave it alone until the end of the show'. Now you don't need to press a button you just tell it to and it does. Todays voice activation systems are different to mine – my old voice activation system consisted of my crying out 'Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam' very loudly.

RELIGIOUS DISCRIMINATION ALIVE AND WELL IN AUSTRALIA

It is most unusual for the Astonisher to take up the gloves to protect religion. As Lenin would have it ‘religion is the opiot of the people’ but just as the drug laws are relaxing opiots in the form of prescribed medicines so they are tightening up rules that discriminate against particular religions. One is the wearing of Hijabs (Burqa’s are a man-made torture for women) which is just as important as the Homburg for Hasidic Jews or the Dastar for Sikh’s but you here little condemnation of these latter forms of silly headress.
The religious followers of Christian Science and Jehovah’s Witnesses. Yes those bloody Witnesses who turn up at your front door like Mormon pairs and try to get you to buy the Watchtower preferably from a kneeling in prayer position. That particularly annoying sect do not belief in man-made medical intervention when someone falls ill, they believe that only God heals. all. So too with the Christian Scientists who include even blood transfusions as intervention into the designation of God.
I’ll be the first to say that these beliefs are not only deluded but potentially fatal, weird and non-sensical but in a society where we believe that everyone has the right to think for themselves, although that is a decreasing reality with an increasing Nanny State, that God himself gave every one of his children Free Will and that for us even translates into “You have the right to be non-criminally insane”.

What has got me pissed off? What has got me defending God?

The Liberal-National Government, in cahoots with Labour but not the Greens, brought in a regulation that Centrelink is not permitted to pay many of the Family Allowances, granted to all citizens, if they do not have their child immunised against common childhood diseases. Naturally you are going to agree with that policy, I agree with it too, but does it not also introduce the discrimination of some parents to believe in their religion of choice?
Immunisation in itself is a life-saver although many readers of this rag will have been raised without benefit of protection against these ills. Chicken Pox, German Measles and Diptheria are amongst these needle pricks demanded by the can’ts who govern us, those who believe they are above the law because they make them up.

Regardless of what your thoughts are, we are convinced even more strongly that Australia is still a White, Anglo-Saxon Protestant nation, intolerant of all others and one only has to visit parliament and listen to the Opening Prayers of both houses to be convinced of that. It is a pit that the Pox has been eradicated as we would wish that upon both their houses.

God Bless God or Donald Trump whichever comes first.

ABC MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

The constant threats to shut up our National Broadcaster on political grounds by cutting funding has to stop. The visual downgrade of a wonderful organisation under successive Liberal governments does them no service. Littke wonder you imagine left-wing bias in the ABC when governments try to manipulate opinions.

No matter what your politics or your opinion of the Australian Broadcasting Commission, its cost, its inefficiencies and its perceived left-wing bias, it is a bastion of balance in the Australian media scene.
Without the ABC we would be opinion the the whine, whinge and scream of the like of Alan Jones or Sam Zamanic or any of those other radical bigots who, despite their supposed popularity have less of the audience share than SBS. Yet, like a minority of villagers in Linton, they have a voice much bigger than their balls.

Without the ABC we would be inundated with nothing but Foxtel sensationalism and the perverted logic of Rupert Murdock which has me quivering in my rolls of fat. The Young Liberals who are pushing for the ABC to be privatised, led by Cory Bernardi (No longer a member of the Liberals) wanst to kill off diversity and encourage our penchant for hate.

A privatised ABC would be captive to the needs and prioritise of advertisers and open to payment for comment which would totally skew news and information to avoid upsetting their source of revenue. If the government threatens the ABC with financial sanctions imagine what Coles and Woolworths could do to it.

What chance for both sides of the story being told. Even though it may have what people believe to be a left wing bias it is the only national broadcaster to give both sides of every story whether you fucking like it or not.

Sometimes it is good not to like something you hear, that's what it means by hearing different arguments, and it is hearing both sides that gives us the choice to divide for ourselves and not be dictated to by one side or the other.
Should we not be free to make our own decisions?
With a privatised ABC we may never get to hear the other side because it may not be a pleasing sound to the ears of the advertiser.

A commercially driven ABC would be at the mercy of 'corporate imperatives' and 'shareholder greed'. A commercial ABC with such a huge broadcasting range both in Australia and Overseas would see an exodus away from local and state-wide radio services to the national network. We might see a more efficient ABC but we would also see a centralising of opinion at a national level at the expense of local and community broadcasters.
The slow dissolution of the newspaper empires is a prime example. News Limited and Gina Reinhart would have the ability to massively sway general opinion and that is something very few of us would want.

When I was involved in establishing Community Radio back in the mid-70's one of the prime directions we were to go was away from traditional radio and toward the promotion of local community services and local news to which small communities like Linton could tune for information directly relative to them.

Diversity in radio and television whether it be vision like Channel 31 or the sound of Voice FM is a priority for any democracy..

A CHEAP HUMPY IS OUR COUNTRIES FUTURE

Everyone knows that the more money being thrown around the more expensive things become. It’s called the law of supply and demand.

Houses built by the government are always at least 50% dearer than those build for the private sector. The moment a contractor realises it’s a government tender he adds on at leat 25% and in some cases is then told he’s come in too low. Try that in the private sector.

Lets say a house and land package in Melbourne is around $750,000 and out our way, with land cheaper we might get away with house and land packages half that. These prices are not going to stay at that, they’ll go up around 10% a year, far higher thasn the C.P.I or the rate of inflation caused by overseas buyers wanting to park there cash in a safe haven, where money is portable and taxes are rortable. In around eight years my land has increased in value by nearly 400%, that’s bloody 25% a year in rough arithmatic, my grass is turning to gold why mine for it.

In the failing War On Terror, mainly because what we are doing to fight it is actually making it worse, like pouring battery acid on your cut finger, and turning back refugees from safety creates even more conflict when we are the ones that made them refugees in the first place.

All that aside we may have spent in and out of country 50 Billion Dollars that we need not have spent if George Junior and Halliburton Industries had not designed and planned the regime change of Saddam Hussein.

What would that money have bought us back home?

200,000 houses complete with essential services?

500 medium sized hospitals or the treatment of maybe 5 million patients?

1000 really pretty Schools?

There may have been no deficit, despite the fact we might not have sold as much steel to make tanks, bullets and bombs but then that would have all gone into high-rise apartment blocks.

With the average wage now nearing $1000 a week it means that an average family living off one income and paying off the house with the other would still have to suck up 30 years of pain and poverty and just have the house paid off in time to move yourself into a retirement village.

But like a bad gambler we have lost the lot - transferred it all into the pockets of overseas arms manufacturers and the makers of tents for at least 30 million displaced families. We have lost out too in employment and the flow-on benefits from the fact we no longer even make bullets or uniforms in Australia. This government was forced into even building our submarines. Now we don’t make cars, we won’t even refine our own petrol, we’ve sold off our gas and want to sell off even more at the expense of our environment. I’m sorry but I don’t believe our countries security should all be down to market forces.

There might be no real war at least into the foreseable future but that does not mean that we should sell our countries security to the stock exchange.

EVEN IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS ‘SPONSORSHIP’

In the beginning He created heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep,the Spirit of God hovering over the Mount Franklin waters.

And God said,“Let there be Incandescent light,” and there was incandescent light. Saw that the Osram light was good,he separated the Osram light from the Phillips . Called the Osram light “ Woman’s Day,” and the Phillips he called “Sleep City Night.” there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

And God said,“Let there be a vault to the waters for to separate light water from heavy water.” So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. It was so. God called vault “sky.” there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

And God said, “Let the Mount Franklin water under the Etihad sky be gathered to one place, let dry ground appear.” And it was so called the dry ground “Australia,” and the gathered Mount Franklin waters called “seas.” God saw that it was good.

Then God said, “Let the land produce gorse vegetation: -modified seed-bearing plants and pine tree plantations on the land that bear fruit without seed in it, according to Monsanto. ” And it was so. The land produced gorse vegetation: GM plants bearing seed according to their kinds pine trees bearing fruit with no seed in it according to Monsanto. And God saw that it was good. There was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

And God said, “Let there be downlights the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, let them be L.E.D lights in the vault of the sky to give soft light on the earth.” And it was so. God made two great lights—the greater light that govern day he called News Limited and the lesser light to govern night he called This Day Tonight. And he also made the TV stars. God set them in the vault of the sky to transmit light to the earth, govern the day and the night, to separate light Comedy programmes from Game Show darkness. And God saw that it was good. There was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

And God said, “Let the Mount Franklin water teem with living creatures,all manner of Birdeye let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” God created the great creatures of the sea every living thing with which the Mount Franklin water teems and that moves about in it, to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that Virgin Airlines **, and Carnival Cruises and Manly Ferry’s were good and blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the Mount Franklin water in the seas, and let the birds, especially KFC Chickens, increase on the earth.” There was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.

And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures to their kinds: livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” He created Football Teams and it was so and made the wild animals according to their kinds, Tigers, Panthers, Lions and the livestock according to their kinds, Football Fans, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds., NFL, and God’s own favourite Soccer. And God saw that it was good.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, our likeness, that they may rule over the Birdseye in the sea and the KFC in the sky, over the grain-fed livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” And so he created Advertising Agencies and Account Executives and Ticket Writers and he saw that it was good.

So God created his own image, in the image of God created them; male and female created them, Nobility and Dictators he created them, cross dressers and people who were gay he created them, and people who fantasize of sex with vacuum cleaners and watermelons he created them. But the Devil not God created he the species called Vegans for he saw that it was bad. That they would gobble seeds and not the animals that seeds were meant to feed. God saw the badness in Vegans and said that they should be treated as humans in need of special care.

God blessed them all who ate Meat and said to them,““Be fruitful and increase in number; most of thine at least, the earth subdue it. Rule over fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Then God said, “I give you every GM seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with no seed in it. They will be for Woolworths. To all the beasts of the earth for Megameats and all the blackbirds in the sky for Red Rooster and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life it—I give every green plant for food to Curtis Fresh.” And it was so.

God saw all that he had made, it was very good. There was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the T.V hosts for them. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made and he said that Carpet King Touch Football and Commonwealth Bank cricket should they be blessed to play on the seventh day. And he blessed all those who play for Packer-stan. All the generations of the footballers and of the cricketers they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,

Footnotes:

** There is no commercial relationship between Virgin Airlines and the Virgin Birth.

ANZAC DAY SPARKS small DISPLAY

A certain fairly regular young patron at the Railway Hotel, who will remain unmentionable, was seen to be running up and down Sussex Street last month between the Undertakers and the Antiques (or was it the antiques at the Undertakers?) without wearing his going out unmentionables.

It is regrettable that his personal unmentionables were given a really good airing out as he made his Anzac Day Parade a truly unmentionable event.

After celebrating with a few beers over a win on a traditional ANZAC Day game the person concerned had noticed there was nothing flapping outside on this special day and decided to do something about it.

The Official Ceremony had been held at an earlier time outside the Golden Pains Office so he had no way of comparing the ball on top of the War Memorial with his own impending Ball.

The Astonisher was not there as we were covering an event interstate at the time so we are unable to inform our readers if all the waving about involved very large bunting or just a model flag. We do have it, from a reliable source, that there were a few people who were not totally impressed by the size of his event.

Tamara Knight