CHRISTIANS CANNOT COMMIT CRIMES.

One of the principal reasons why I thank God that I’m an atheist is based on the idea that those who believe in Jesus, and tell everyone about how Jesus came into their life, and believe Jesus will come back and heap praise and glory upon the righteous, who found Him in Jail, in a piece of burnt toast or peering over his back fence, who believe that to follow in the footsteps of Jesus and spread his good word, who know the Gospels both forward and backward, and who praise the Lord at every opportunity can still, regularly attend church and then, without any fear of punishment for their sins go out and rob banks, rape women or become politicians.

OH! Lordy! Lordy! Praise the Lord and keep the Ten Commandments. Maybe with the exception of ‘thou shalt not steal’ and then while I think of it forget about ‘coveting my neighbours arse, or his house or his manservant’ I can’t see anything wrong with admiring his new car, or fiddling with his Butler in the pantry and he does have a nice arse. There’s no harm in that these days is there? I can’t ‘honour my Father and Mother’ because I don’t know who they are so lets erase that one. ‘Do no murder’ Yeah? what about that one? As long as they don’t believe in my God I think that’s alright. Lets believe that really says ‘thou shalt not kill unless they’re Muslims or Jews’.

What does that leave us with? ‘Keeping the Sabbath’ Scrub that one, banks are closed on Sundays and who doesn’’t want a nice piece of ass on Sunday. ‘Gods before me?’ I think I can keep that one unless I fall prey to the worship of money or put instructions by my employer before those of God. That’s a bit grey that one. Let’s not leave that one in as it could be confused with ‘making yourself an idol’ and that would mean giving up on my worship of Don Bradman.

‘Thou shalt not use my name.’ Jesus Christ that’s a tough one. Skip that page. ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’. Kids are not adults are they, and it must be alright if a few of our religious leaders set the example for us. You aren't committing adultery in a brothel, that’s just sex and if you are not married then its not adultery either. The one whose married is the adulterer. ‘False testimony against a neighbour’. Decorating the truth or forgetfulness can’t be false testimony. I’m telling it as how I see it. I can ignore that commandment.

That just leave the one commandment about ‘‘vengeance being in the hands of the Lord’. I must tell by Defence Barrister about that one. I’ll get a Good Behaviour Bond and that’s easy-peasy. But Jail time? I’ll leave that one with Him.