THE BURQA IS GOOD

It will only take one small step to bring true racial, sexual and social equality to Australia. Imagine men and women being truly equal. That one’s outward appearance makes not one iota of difference, where the shape of your eyes and the colour of your skin matter not one jot.

Imagine if you will, one day being able to fall out of bed and go to work without the worry of ever shaving either face or legs, combing hair or squeezing blackheads.

Think of the day that you can wear whatever you like in fact you could go to work completely naked and nobody would know the difference.

That’s right …… one small step for mankind

INTRODUCE THE BURQA FOR ALL SEXES

Both men and women could drape themselves in a Burqa and all your physical worries would end. Absolute gender equality.

Adolescent boys would never have to stress out of the latest zit erupting under their nose. Young girls would never have to worry about their figure and whether they were attractive or not. But we would still have a fairly large wardrobe, for it would be necessary and one might suggest fashionable to have a variety of Burqa’s to wear.

The White Burqa could be reserved for Virgins, Celibates and the religiously inclined. Conservative Nuns and Priests are already there but for a comfy hood.

Black for those functions where it was necessary to dress formal or semi-formal. Weddings, Funerals and Bar Mitzvah’s. The Black and White Ball would simply become the Black Ball.

Schoolchildren would wear the colour of their school with a number on their shoulder to denote which Year they were at. Parents may of course have to resort to various noises to figure out which child was theirs when it came time to pick them up. If Monkeys and Penguins can do it so could we.

Adolescents, always wanting to be that little bit different could rely on the rag trade to kit them out for the next Rave.

The Adidas Burqa with three white stripes down the side, or the Nike with its fashionable Swoosh.

Extasy Blue, Cocaine Green, Heroin Henna or Marijuana Mauve. What a great selection of tasteful ‘in’ colours could be made.

You would not even have to be a great dancer either, who would know if you were doing the twist or the hokey kokey under the full-length outfit.

Drinking and smoking might be a bit of a problem, but what a wonderful way to smoke and not get caught, disguising the smoke coming from the eye slots by swinging a fashionable incense burner on the outside.

When it comes to work outfits one could have an array of these too.

Photographers could develop photos on the spot by just squatting down. Firemen in their bright red fibreglass Burqa’s would be automatically flame retardant and could cool off in the bushfires with a quick drive along the fire trail with their Burqa held out toward the wind.

Uniforms would be a thing of the past too. Imagine our army fully kitted out in Camouflaged Burqa’s, useful for daily wear and then double as Raincoat and one-person Tent. What better to disguise one’s presence by looking almost like a real Hedge or Blackberry Bush? Sand coloured Birqa’s would mean all one had to do was to sit on the beach and nobody could find you.

Police need to be identified readily so what about a navy blue outfit with little chequerboard cuffs, collars and hems. The end would come to that terrible Policepersons habit of having to hitch up ones trousers due to the weight of all the paraphernalia around their belt. Handcuffs, Batons, Pistols, Radios and the like would not be seen and thus could be secreted with leather straps wherever they were most comfortable.

The best sight of all of course would be the vision of a Cardinal Pell addressing the Vatican Council through the mesh of his Burqa while two small feet stick out under the bottom hem.

I say anything and everything is possible if we all, brothers and sisters adopt the Afghan Burqa as standard daily dress.