GARDENING WITH MUGGLES 4

SIN IN THE GARDEN

Thanks for coming back. In this Chapter we would like to introduce you to a high grade gardener by the name of Sin Semilla. As a relative of Cardinal Sin of Manilla this lady, who also goes by her full name of Sinderella, knows all about doing things under-cover and has a wealth of expertise both in exercising and exorcising in your garden. It may be of interest to state that Cardinal Sin's name is a derivation of the garden plant Sinsemilla which quite appropriate to his profession as it means little or no seed.

One way to relax of course is through the garden and the ability to enjoy, relax, hang out and generally get off your face surrounded by greenery and lots of little buds, and Sin is going to help you do that. Sin is a spiritual entity, sometimes she floats through the day on spirits and sometimes with spirits by her side.

Being of a higher grade than Muggles the easiest way of growing Hagrid (a.k.a Nightmares) as we shall call it is to simply to remove all of the males from the crop so they cannot cross fertilise. If you wish to keep growing it however, you will need to create your own strain and the best way to do this is to put some seeds down early with your main aim to grow males and be sure to keep them away from where females might be around. Whether they should or not it seems to be a tendency for males to be always attempting the fertilisation process and this can cause problems so one must keep the two gardens as far apart as possible. The reason for putting seeds down early is that the male should be fully mature before fertilising a female. We have seen too many examples of crops going haywire from immature males and females being able to propagate before they should and many crops having to be confiscated by the Police for safe keeping.

Once your females are getting to mature we suggest picking the biggest and best plant and moving it over to where the male is. This has been referred to in other publications as a 'Home Visit'. Once the males pollen balls have cracked the pollen will be transferred onto the females stigma. Nature has seen to it that stigma is only applied to females who have become fertilised. This seems to also happen in human realms as well and females are called such negative terms as sluts, bikes or manhunters. The terms used reverse and turn positive when applied to their male counterparts who tend to refer to themselves as studs, macho or sperm donors.

So even in the garden world there is no stigma attached to a male of the species. But there are other ways to fertilise a female which is to place plastic bags over the arms of the males with cracked balls and leave them like this for at least 12 hours. By this time you should have been able to collect enough pollen to fertilise your female without any additional work from the male. Some gardeners have employed the equivalent of a Milk Flotsam Skimmer for this job. The next job is to place the plastic bags over the females arms that you have selected to use for the seeds that have now got female stigma's curling out of the tips. These bags should be left on the female for at least twelve hours to ensure fertilisation has taken place. We don't believe there is a human equivalent to this process unless you attend a bizarre fetish club. We have found that both methods either by direct contact in a bed or via this rather perverse plastic bag process will fertilise the female adequately.

By now fertilasation should have occurred and your female will begin to grow the seed for next seasons crop. Provide that you repeat this process every other season you should have no trouble growing high grade Hagrid at all. It is likely that in Hagrid occasionally you will find a few seeds, generally this is due to hermaphrodites present in the crop going unnoticed. Hermies are hard to detect as the self-fertilisation process can take place in a garden without anyone spotting it.

One of the advantages of growing the seeded out variety as in Muggles as opposed to Hagrid is that you end up with substantially more weight than what you would with Hagrid. This is an advantage to those with adequate transport but can prove difficult if carried in Boogie Boards. Hagrid on the other hand is about 20-30 percent stronger because of its tendency to hang around gymnasiums and other fitness venues. I find Hagrid has more attraction than its seeded sister.

Other publications in the Linton Hanging Garden Series.

PROPHET OF PROFIT by Kerry Baggs

10 Ways to establish a lucrative Muggins market.