GO-SIP COLLUM

*** Latest vegetarian polls show that the incumbent Prime Minister Rabbit unchallenged by any ex-Goldman-Sachs millionaires is now less popular than Spinach. But that is not to say that Jug- Ears will be Dear Leader into the next election.

His habit of increasing fuel and decreasing Doctors payments by $5 (a co-payment by stealth) has not endeared him to anyone who needs to drive themselves to the doctor.

The propaganda coming from both sides about Australia being conquered by Muslim terrorists in leaky boats is creating great swathes of misinformation to wash over us like a Tsunami of Chinese Whispers. The misinformation and lies, not quite to the extent of throwing babies overboard, is stirring up an element of hatred not seen in Australia since World War 2.

We believe that our elected representatives in our democracy have been going down hill morally and uphill financially for the last twenty years at least. Not since the hey day of God Gough has any leader of Australia been surrounded by so much self-service and incompetence that we are just waiting for this governments Judy Morrosi to throw a spanner into the house.

*** At a State level questions have been raised in Victorian Parliament about the ramifications of the impending legalisation of gay marriage by the federal government in 2015. Australia has always trailed 12 months behind America’s instructions. Predictions are that one of the first moves by whichever government we elect will be addressing that anomaly in law. Obama has already sent the email instructing it be done.

Discussions around the matter in Spring Street this week brought to light several concerns about who will most likely be Australia’s first openly gay Governor-General. It was said that Bob Brown (ex-Greens) may be on the list, along with Alan Jones (Fascist Faggot) or maybe Jacqui Lambie (Army Dyke) to shut her up. What will be the protocol when two Queens meet on official occasions. More tellingly should the Victorian Government elect to have the same proportional representation as the electorate it governs and how are we going to select 17 good and true Gays for the States Lower House.

*** Historians have made representation to parliament regarding the misinformation about illegal migrants. They have pointed out that this country was invaded by boat people without valid Visa’s a couple of centuries ago so the latest arrivals are nothing new. Australia had no problems with migrants from Europe, as long as they were white Christians. But now the new arrivals are the same colour as the people we invaded, and God forbid because there are several Muslims, we suddenly get all het up about it. At best we are hypocrites at worst we are xenophobes. Back in the 70’s there was not a word of protest about the Vietnamese illegal boat people. Was that because they were Catholics?

*** All the politicians in this election are saying that we should ‘GO FORWARD’ what bloody moron would suggest otherwise?

*** Linton, forever ahead with community cohesiveness, is to get a new religious community group establishing its headquarters here. The Astonisher has been given exclusive heads-up advance news and exclusive details about “ TURN THE OTHER CHEEK’ a Christian Spanking Club are interested in purchasing the St. Paul’s Parish Hall.

*** There is no mention of Black Holes and other Solar Systems in either the new or old Testaments. These missives suggest that God created the Heavens and the Earth but did not mention of Jupiter, Mars or even poor defrocked Pluto. Scientists at the time worked out that the Stars were actually attached to a huge black background, the size of which was beyond human contemplation, that the Sun revolved around the Earth (which they suspected was flat) and just like modern day backward peoples still clinging to the fact that unless it was in the Bible could not believe anything until they saw it with their own eyes.