VACANT POSITIONS

MANNIBADAR GRAMMAR PRE-SCHOOL

In conjunction with the Happy Valium Institute Mandibular Children's Night-care has recently received a scratch and sniff book for the tiny tots called ‘See Spot Run’ and innovative way that they can experience touch and squeeze techniques. ‘See Spot Run’ is a simple, easy to rid history of Acne.

An ideal gift for Christmas the little ones will just love running up to you to touch, squeeze, scratch and sniff. We do advise that when children experiment with this book that you keep any family dogs out of reach. Breeds like Pit Bulls are unlikely to enjoy having their tails tugged for sniffing practice.

Fashion Industry - Tanning Fake for Wedding Exhibitions.

A very good position is available to the right coloured girl, preference for beige, to act as a model for the fake tan industry. Applicant needs to have tendency to be an exhibitionist, uninhibited and extroverted. Equity fee plus commissions from sales. Ability to travel and a car essential. Night and Day shifts available. Apply: Sean Ubooti - Wedding Cake and Dress Emporium, Melbourne Convention Centre. Phone 13FAKED for appointment.

Collectors Gallery Exhibition - 1st-14th December - High Heel Collecting Essentials

Employment opportunities will soon become available for young ladies or transsexuals to do some casual modeling involving only below the knees work. June Dally-Watkins will be the MC for the exhibition which will include how to care for high heels, how to sharpen stiletto’s and keeping your legs together.

Hours will vary depending on availability of voyeurs and foot-fetishists to examine the modes and styles being presented. Each foot may be eligible for a supplementary payment depending on which foot spends most time at the front of the catwalk. Please apply in writing with nude 8x10 close-ups from the waist down, necessary for height calculation, leg shape and texture and gender confirmation.

Anne O’Rexia. Suite 2, 2190 Sturt Street, Ballarat or Post Office Box 0410E Wendouree Mail Exchange.

81 AND GROWING STRONGER

Well he’s at it again. That Hellraiser on the side of God.

He’s been defunded, dechurched and almost defrocked but vthat doesn’t stop Bob Mc.Guire, that’s Father Robert Mc.Guire offically, from continuing to shove hgis nose into church affairs at every opportunity.

His latest beating of eclesiastical Tom Tom’s, not having the organ pipes of wrath to play, is about opening the Church up to the community. Holy Mary he’s even suggesting that non-Catholics be included in the use of Rock Choppers resources. He believes that under utilised resources normally being able to cater for hundreds but reduced to the service of dozens could be put to a better use if the great unwashed, tired, lonely and weary could be included in his ‘Catholic Call-to-prayer’ and invoking the chant of the evangelicals by asking ‘what would Jesus do’.

Why can’t parts of the property be used for Needle Exchanges or Food Banks or even Crash Pads if they were found necessary within the community that church purports to serve. Jesus certainly, as I never met him, would not have looked down his nose at the clothes they wore, nor enquired into their sleeping arrangements, I’m not even sure if he would have asked someone about their sexual preferences either. He would have seen someone in need and that would would set him in motion.

I’m not a Catholic, nor am I even religious but even I can see the good that Jesus, if he did indeed exist, intended for his world. It was a rough dog eat dog society where the rich and powerful, just as today, tried to lord it over everybody else. (Is there a pun there?) He saw the injustices and just like the rebel he truly ended up being fought for the Ten Commandments to be upheld by everyone, although I believe in some instances he may have looked the other way - just a litle bit.

Father Bob as we all know him in my eyes is trying to uphold all those principles that the Catholic Church abides by and is not going to be silenced until he hears the sounds of nails into pine. I would suggest that one should seek out and buy his book, as usual your money will be wisely spent helping others and that’s a free plug gladly given.